"Don't worry, I got an idea. An idea so smart, my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about."
"Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually."
"Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time."
"Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma! . . . Hi!"
"You better watch who you call a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, then you know what that makes you? A pedophile! And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert!"
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Lois, this is not my Batman glass."