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Entourage

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Big Head = Big Star
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Jack LieblichJack Lieblich

Season 1: Entourage
Drama Bugs Out
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Season 4: The Dream Team
Drama Playing Golf
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Season 6: Fore

"You know another class I took at Harvard? Business Ethics. I don't steal other people's motherfucking clients, but in your case I'm going to make an exception. I'm going to take everyone: your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers...when I'm done with you, you're gonna be repping sideshow freaks. You need Jo-Jo the Dog-Face-Bitch-Boy? Call Josh Weinfuck, the lightweight pen-stealing fuckface."
-Ari

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Jack LieblichJack Lieblich
Season 1: Busey and the Beach

"Everybody stop. I didn't go to the Lakers game because they're playing the fucking Bobcats. And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate. How to answer a question without a question. Basic Humanity 101. Which, I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix. Or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me — I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with and just so we're clear, I don't care about any of them. They're all just a number, like wife #1 and therapist #7. Good day."
-Ari

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Season 3: Manic Monday
Quick Slick Ari
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Season 5: First Class Jerk
Billy Walsh Rides off with the First Cut
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Season 4: The First Cut Is the Deepest
Ari Cuts the Dead Weight
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Season 6: Give a Little Bit

"If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I'd take in the ass for an Oscar."
-Johnny Drama

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Season 1: The Scene
Matt Damon Tries to Get Vince to Donate to His Charity
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Season 6: Give a Little Bit

"'Movie'? I hate the word movie. I don't make movies, I make films!"
-Billy Walsh

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Season 4: Welcome to the Jungle

"Great work Rob, great work. See if you can read this. [writes GET THE FUCK OUT!!! on white board] You're fired, and in case your ears are fucked, [points the door] GET THE FUCK OUT!!! And the next person I see juggling, tap-dancing, or baton-twirling or doing any other circus-like tricks will join him, alright? One-strike policy applies, now get back to work! Goddamn, that felt good."
-Ari

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Season 3: Manic Monday
Ari Goes Off in Therapy
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Season 3: Manic Monday

"I think we should turn the pool to face south. Very feng shui."
-Johnny Drama

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Season 2: An Offer Refused

"Even with a million-man army you sometimes have to do the grunt work yourself. Saddam Hussein had to hang a few without his assistants."
-Ari

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Season 7: Stunted
Drama Finds out Five Towns Is a Hit
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Season 3: The Resurrection

"Okay, yes. If I could GOUGE OUT Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And LLOYD, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog and who left me for those two scumbags, I would tie him up and allow the entire Screen Actors Guild to anally rape him if not for the fact that I'd know he would enjoy it. I hate them all, and yes, I want to see them destroyed. But that is not why I want this company. I want - no, I need - this company, because it's good business. It's good goddamn business and if I don't buy it, someone else will and that will be very very bad for my business. And my wife, of all people, should know, that when it comes to business, my judgment is never clouded, so please [pleads to Mrs Ari] please support me like you always have, and I will deliver for us, like I always have."
-Ari

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Season 6: Give a Little Bit
E Proposes to Sloan
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Season 6: Give a Little Bit

"This is kind of embarrassing, but sometimes I wake up in the morning fully tented. Any advice?"
-Johnny Drama

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Season 2: Oh, Mandy
Ari Finds Out James Cameron is Directing Aquaman
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Season 2: An Offer Refused
50 Cent Rips on Turtle
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Season 6: One Car, Two Car, Red Car, Blue Car

"Busted? I'm entrusted, man. I don't steal. I heal. We're not getting stoned. We're getting honed. My probation officer's one of my best customers. I'm a prisoner. I'm a prisoner of, uh, war. War on Drugs. It's all so negative, man. I mean, the Man's most positive positive-tive is a nega-tive. It's a mega-nega-tive. Right? [shouts] Viking Quest! Let them be low. We are getting high. We're not getting fucked down. We're getting fucked up."
-The Sherpa

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Season 1: The Script and the Sherpa